*****SAURIAN SPOILERS!*****

Contrary to my own silly title, this is not a column about a reptilian super-spy who awakens with amnesia. No, this is about a little pet peeve of mine within the Star Trek franchise. I have been a fan of Star Trek since the mid-1970s with reruns of the original series of Star Trek (TOS) and the animated series (TAS), though please bear in mind that my opinions of Star Trek are just that; opinions, and nothing more. Anyhoo…

One of my favorite classic Star Treks is the first season TOS episode “Arena” (written by the legendary Gene L. Coon, with original story credit given to Frederic Brown). “Arena” also introduced one of early Trek’s most interesting alien species, the Gorn. As established in that episode, the Gorn were a slow-moving, cold-blooded reptilian species who’d mastered warp travel and who possessed weapons and other technology comparable (and in some ways superior) to the Federation.  The introduction of the Gorn actually preceded the Klingons, who came near the end of TOS’ first season (“Errand of Mercy”).

“Arena” was a landmark episode in many ways. It put Star Trek’s (and Gene Roddenberry’s) humanitarian sentiments to the test when Captain Kirk (William Shatner) spares his wounded opponent’s life after the two are pitted against each other in mortal combat by the near-omnipotent Metrons; a consequence incurred after the Gorn starship and the USS Enterprise violate Metron space, following a heated pursuit.  This pursuit began after the Gorn destroyed a Federation outpost on the remote planet of Cestus III, which we later learn, was an encroachment into Gorn territory.  Kirk suggests to the Metrons that he and the Gorn “can talk, maybe reach an agreement.”

We’d see the Gorn sparingly used in later Star Trek incarnations.  In the TAS episode, “The Time Trap,” we see a Gorn serving on a multi-species council of aliens who were trapped in “the Delta Triangle,” (a “Bermuda Triangle” in space).  In Star Trek: Enterprise (ENT), there was a CGI Gorn saboteur in the Star Trek Mirror Universe (“In a Mirror, Darkly,” Part 2) who seemed to be influenced by the human-scale velociraptors of “Jurassic Park” (1993).  Despite the CGI facelift, the Gorn seen in ENT was still more or less recognizable; a large, muscular, humanoid-shaped reptilian who was physically formidable, though not unbeatable. 

Now we have a new live-action series, Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (SNW), and it’s been a breath of fresh air for the often-troubled new generation of Star Trek series birthed in 2017 with Star Trek: Discovery (DSC).  Skewing away from the heavily-serialized storytelling of DSC and Star Trek: Picard (PIC), SNW weaves seasonal plot threads within standalone episodes, with the same deft touch we saw throughout Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (DS9).  One of the arcs weaving throughout SNW was a setup for the Gorn to be the series’ new main villain, now characterized as a coming threat with occasional skirmishes in between (“Memento Mori” “All Those Who Wander”) before season 2’s finale (“Hegemony”).

In the pilot of SNW, we were introduced to Security Chief Lt. La’an Noonien Singh (Christina Chong), and yes, she is a descendent of Star Trek villain Khan Noonien Singh (who didn’t have family living back on Earth that we knew of, but sure, whatever). La’an’s backstory involves her captive family being used as ‘breeding sacks’ by the Gorn (à la “ALIEN”); a race we’re not supposed to have encountered at this point in Star Trek lore. 

At the time of “Arena,” Kirk and the Enterprise crew had no idea who or what they were up against. Strategizing with Kirk, Spock (Leonard Nimoy) suggests the lack of information on their opponent was a reason to let it go (“Perhaps the pursuit alone…”). And Lt. Uhura (Nichelle Nichols) is visibly terrified at the sight of the humanoid reptile when it first appears on the ship’s main viewer.  Kirk even refers to his opponent as “a creature that calls itself a Gorn.”   Doesn’t sound like he’s ever heard of that species before it was named by the Metrons, does it? Now we are being told that the Enterprise crew, namely Spock, Uhura, Chapel and even Scotty knew exactly who and what the Gorn were, well before their ‘first contact’ with them nearly a decade later. Sometimes it feels as though we’re being told not to believe our lying eyes and ears…

SNW has also chosen to ‘modernize’ the Gorn by reimagining them as little more than naked ripoffs of the xenomorphs from the “ALIEN” franchise. These new Gorn now use warm-bodied beings as hosts for their eggs, which eventually burst from their host’s bodies, and begin their lives as shrieking, violent little gremlins who kill everything in sight—just like the ALIEN xenomorphs. These new “Gorn” also have long, whip-like tails (??) and move with surprising speed and agility compared to their slow-moving, cold-blooded counterparts (the Gorn’s prior slowness was an important factor that Kirk specifically mentioned as an advantage during his combat with the Gorn captain). 

Ever since I first saw the new lobster-scalped Klingons of 1979’s “Star Trek: The Motion Picture,” I’ve always been fine with the cosmetic changes made to these iconic aliens of the Star Trek universe (“young minds, fresh ideas, be tolerant,” as Kirk reminds us, in “The Search For Spock”).  ENT actually devoted a two-part episode (“Affliction,” “Divergence”) which cleverly explained the changing faces of the Klingons.

The Romulans of Star Trek: The Next Generation (TNG) were later given heavier-browed foreheads as well, which were later explained in PIC as a simple variation within the Romulan genome (“Remembrance”). The important takeaway here is that none of these alien races were fundamentally changed. Despite their cosmetic differences, the Klingons were still warlike and half-savage, while the Romulans were still sneaky and inscrutable.

And now we have the xenomorph-Gorn. Granted, the Gorn were never quite not as popular as the Klingons or Romulans, but “Arena” is certainly well-remembered within fandom and even pop culture.  In fact, my wife and I visited the episode’s shooting location (Agua Dulce’s famed Vasquez Rocks, here in California) during the early years of the pandemic, and we had a blast; the entire park was ours for nearly an hour.

Note: In the following link is a full report on our Vasquez Rocks trip, if you’re interested: (Gorn with the Wind: A personal tour of Star Trek’s famed Vasquez Rocks location).

Despite repeated claims to the contrary by current Trek showrunners, I’ve long accepted that SNW and DSC do not take place in the same papier-mâché and balsa wood universe that I grew up watching in reruns during the 1970s and 1980s (my old column: The issue of Star Trek and its continuity).  In fact, the SNW episode “Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow” explicitly states in dialogue that the Star Trek timeline has been repeatedly corrupted since the 1990s; creating ever-changing versions of the Star Trek timeline that, while different, still manage to align with the major events of TOS-TNG canon.  Sure, whatever…

Of course, no one needs to be told that “Star Trek” is a fictional universe, so I can accept that this fictional universe is ever-malleable, as well.  To its credit, even ENT’s ‘Temporal Cold War’ plot thread (which finally wrapped in season 4’s “Storm Front,” Parts 1 & 2) was a half-assed means of paving over some of these nagging continuity holes.  All of that I can easily accept.

Note: The recent finale of DSC (“Life Itself”) finally solved the ‘mystery’ of the powerful, enigmatic 32nd century character “Dr. Kovich” (played by “The Fly” director David Cronenberg) by revealing that Kovich was the elderly incarnation of ENT Temporal Cold War agent “Crewman Daniels” (Matt Winston); it was a pointless name drop that offers little insight into why Daniels now wears glasses (which were already obsolete in Kirk’s century), or why he now looks like David Cronenberg, but sure…

What I can’t accept is fundamentally changing an iconic (albeit fictional) alien species just for the sake of being ‘contemporary’ (if the definition of contemporary includes ripping off a 45-year old sci-fi horror franchise), or worse—because it’s ‘cool’; this is the same kind of thinking that gets you a starship on the bottom of an alien ocean for no good or practical reason (“Star Trek Into Darkness”). The only other reason to call these bug-eyed, parasitic xenomorph-clones Gorn is for nostalgia cred, and it only undermines that cred when the writers eliminate everything that made that species what they were.

This mischaracterization of the Gorn is like writing a story of a person who takes their chimpanzee companion into the big city for the first time, where it becomes frightened by a barking dog, prompting the ape to spit acid in the dog’s face, before it sprouts wings and flies away.  Is that creature still a chimpanzee?  Then why write it as a chimpanzee?  

These Gorn are no longer slow-moving reptiles of humanoid shape, let alone a civilization capable of negotiation or compromise; something Kirk himself recognized when he realized the Gorn might’ve been fighting simply to protect its people.  Now they’re just deadly parasites to be squashed like bugs. This also begs the question; why did the Gorn kill the base personnel of Cestus III instead of using them as ‘breeding sacks’?  Because using humans as breeding sacks is not what the Gorn do.  As much as I loathe 2013’s “Star Trek Into Darkness,” the film had Dr. McCoy (Karl Urban) casually mention that he once delivered ‘Gorn octuplets,’ who then bit him, in what sounds like a live birth—not a grotesque hatching of eggs erupting from living, sentient hosts.

Calling these new creatures “Gorn” simply for its name brand value is both pandering and cynical, not creative. There’s a reason that writers should tread carefully when working within an established intellectual property.  The writers of SNW, an otherwise fine show that I enjoy very much, could’ve just as easily created a whole new race of alien parasites that wouldn’t have stepped on any canonical toes, and which could’ve allowed the franchise to explore a new and previously unknown alien menace. Instead, the powers-that-be chose to just slap the Gorn name on them for its fan service value.

Since the SNW season 2 finale “Hegemony” ends on a cliffhanger, there is the remote change that these same powers-that-be might somehow write themselves out of this corner, but I can’t imagine how.  Perhaps they’ll offer a plausible reason for how the lightning-quick, long-tailed Gorn somehow evolve into the slow-moving, non-tailed reptilian humanoids seen in “Arena.” Perhaps they might even concoct some bizarre reason why Uhura, Spock and even Scotty (who appears in “Hegemony”) are now selectively amnesic regarding their previous encounters with the Gorn aboard the very same starship Enterprise.

Whatever explanations—if any—await us in ENT’s upcoming third season opener will likely be less-than-adequate to an issue that didn’t need to exist in the first place. If only the writers exercised a bit more care by revisiting “Arena” first (which makes for a nice model to study when constructing a Trek episode) before choosing to use the Gorn name simply for its nostalgic value, with no greater thought beyond that.  This was was a genuine mistake on the writers and producers’ parts that could’ve easily been avoided. 

Now that my venom sacks have been fully drained for this topic,  I still look forward to Star Trek: Strange New Worlds’ third season. I personally enjoy the show (despite a few issues here and there), and it’s been the best live-action Star Trek TV show I’ve seen in 20 years.  Here’s hoping they can move on quickly and cleanly from this Gorn morass they’ve navigated themselves into. Hit it!

Where To Watch

All seasons of live-action “Star Trek” TOS or “Star Trek: Strange New Worlds” can be streamed on Paramount+ or digitally purchased via Amazon or iTunes.  They are also available to purchase on physical media from Amazon, or Barnes & Noble.com.