******SPACE STATION-SIZED SPOILERS!******

I’m a real fan of Michelle Yeoh. Loved her work in “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” (2000), “Everything Everywhere All at Once” (2022), “Tomorrow Never Dies” (1997), and even her performance in the otherwise so-so romcom, “Crazy Rich Asians” (2018). Despite all of that, I have mixed emotions about her character in Star Trek. Philippa Georgiou was introduced as the noble but ill-fated captain of the starship USS Shenzhou in the first season of Star Trek: Discovery, only to be resurrected as her twisted counterpart from the Mirror Universe, Emperor Philippa Georgiou, ruler of the Terran Empire; a role she played until her character’s exit in the series’ third season episode, “Terra Firma, Part 2,” where she used the Guardian of Forever to flee the 32nd century (which was physically rejecting her somehow) into the past.

Now there’s Paramount+’s new movie, “Star Trek: Section 31,” directed by Olatunde Osunsammi, and written by Craig Sweeny, Bo Yeon Kim & Erika Lippoldt. The story, such as it is, sees Philippa living her vida loca in the “lost era” of Star Trek; that largely unchronicled period between the end of the TOS Star Trek movies’ late 23rd century and Star Trek: The Next Generation’s mid-24th. Having already worked with Star Trek’s infamous “Section 31” (a shadowy, dark ops organization), the former Emperor is recruited to assist them once again in a quest for a deadly bio-weapon which can wreak havoc across the universe in what feels like a copy of Marvel’s “Guardians of the Galaxy” or DC’s “Suicide Squad.”

Anyway, let’s take a look at…

“Star Trek: Section 31”

Note: It’s problematic to expect audience sympathy from a character who literally poisons her entire rural-class family to death in the opening scene just to advance her personal ambitions. Even her lover, San, is spared; though he’s mutilated and forced to serve as her de facto slave. Philippa Georgiou works best as a supporting character; someone whom better people can guide into the light, as we saw with Michael Burnham’s unofficial mentorship of her during the first few seasons of Star Trek: Discovery. Despite my appreciation for Michelle Yeoh, I just don’t enjoy seeing a murderous despot whooping it up in the lap of luxury at a nightclub; this feels particularly tone-deaf right now, given that the United States has just elected a convicted felon into the Oval Office. 

Note: The CGI Baram space station has curves and pretzel-like lines not too dissimilar to Deep Space Nine, though it’s confusing geometry lacks that station’s more readily-identifiable silhouette.

Note: Philippa going ‘incognito’ under the assumed name ‘Madame du Franc’ is just plain ridiculous; she’s not hiding in plain sight so much as living her vida loca. Her club host, Julius (Augusto Bitter), is a half-black/half-white survivor from the planet Cheron (TOS’ “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield”). Seeing a survivor from Cheron undermines Spock’s grim assertion that there were no survivors of that planet’s self-inflicted genocide. Sure, it makes for a ‘cool Easter egg,’ but it serves no dramatic point, other than to have audiences point and say “Ooh, look!” Speaking of callbacks, Section 31 operative Alok (Omar Hardwick) is a 300+ year-old survivor from the 20th century Eugenics Wars (which were recently retconned into the mid-21st century by Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, but no matter).  Just how did Alok survive the SS Botany Bay crew’s exile to Ceti Alpha V and their subsequent destruction aboard the USS Reliant during the Genesis detonation (“Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan”)?  Is Section 31 set in the Kelvinverse?

Note: Quasi is another chameloid, like “Marta” (Iman) in “Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country” (1991). You can tell by the golden contact lenses, of course. In Star Trek VI, Marta only appeared human because she assumed a “pleasing shape” to sway Kirk, but we get the impression it’s also a bit of a budget saver, too. Quasi’s shapeshifting isn’t gelatinous, like Marta’s; instead, he morphs into a granular, spidery-looking thing that doesn’t translate well onscreen. Of all the characters we meet in “Section 31,” a chameloid is the only one who makes genuine sense as a secret agent, unlike a couple of others we see in this story…

Note: Lt. Rachel Garrett (Kacey Rohl) is, of course, yet another Star Trek callback.  In this case, to a deservedly beloved episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, “Yesterday’s Enterprise” (1990), where her future self, Captain Rachel Garrett (Tricia O’Neill) of the USS Enterprise-C, was thrown forward in time during a fierce firefight with Romulans, which unwittingly altered the future and led to a near-defeat for the Federation by the Klingons. Capt. Garrett chose to send her ship and crew back to their own time—where they would surely die—in order to correct the timeline. Now we see Lt. Garrett, a typically do-gooder Starfleet type, working with Section 31. To be honest, I’d say working with a shadowy, Black Ops group like Section 31 would probably hurt an ambitious, career-minded Starfleet officer more than it would help. 

Note: Zeph (Robert Kazinsky) is utterly ridiculous as a secret operative, given that he looks like a walking junk pile. That, coupled with the character’s over-the-top personality make him wholly unbelievable as a secret, black ops agent. Good thing the character gets killed off soon, because the poor actor looks ridiculous in that getup; like Mad Max after assimilation by the Borg.

Note: “Fuzz” (Sven Ruygrok) is yet another character who makes absolutely no sense.  Fuzz is a composite character (like a poor man’s Dax); a parasitic nano-being who drives a Vulcan body much like the parasites seen in “Men in Black” (exactly so, in fact). What makes this character a terrible agent is that he ‘operates’ the Vulcan body very poorly; making it laugh conspicuously and unable to reign in his own impulses.  Why would he accept a Vulcan vessel without doing his homework on the species first?  Oh right…because making a Vulcan laugh is ‘funny,’ according to this dreary mess of a script.  Fuzz also has the ability to jump from host to host, leaving his former Vulcan body on ‘autopilot’ (which is literally spelled out in English on this alien creature’s control panel inside the body, for us poor numbskulls in the audience…). 

Note: This brings us to another short-lived member of the Section 31 Suicide Squad; a Deltan named Melle (Humberly Gonzales).  For those who remember the late Persis Khambatta’s performance in “Star Trek: The Motion Picture” (1979), Deltans were beings who related to everything and everyone sexually, and whose pheromones drove most poor humanoids out of their minds with lust.  Well, Melle uses her Deltan wiles to get information from those who otherwise wouldn’t talk, like a classic Bond girl. But why don’t her superiors give her a wig to wear, so that people who know about Deltans (like Starfleet officers) might drop their guard around her?  I mean, they put human Starfleet officer Rachel Garrett in a silly purple wig, but not a bald Deltan who’s supposed to be incognito…?  One of the many choices in this movie that make no sense.

Note: The interrogation of Mirror Universe smuggler Dada Noe (Joe Pingue) is a waste of time, since the character reeks of red herring; he even wears red lapels on his 21st century-looking suit (very non-Star Trek). His junky, cybernetic makeup also looks like he could be Zeph’s long-lost dad.  Where are the clean-lined aesthetics that Star Trek is so famous for? The kit-bashed costumes, makeup and aliens look more like rejects from a Disney+ Star Wars production. 

Note: Dada Noe’s interrogation is interrupted by a masked, ninja-like assailant (SPOILER ALERT; it’s San, Philppa’s former rival and lover) who fights Philippa for control of “the Godsend,” a powerful bioweapon/MacGuffin device that threatens to spread multiple plagues across the galaxy (see: the Thalaron device of “Star Trek: Nemesis,” or or any number of doomsday devices in the Star Trek movies). The de-phased fight sequence allows the combatants to pass through walls, fists and weapons, etc. yet their de-phased feet somehow remain firmly planted on the floor…?

Note: With San stealing the Godsend, the Section 31 team give chase, which leads them to a planet where they temporarily lose the trail and their ship. The planet’s surface is yet another in a long line of apparent gravel quarries shot through orange filters to look exotic.  Nothing in this movie feels remotely original or innovative, let alone like Star Trek. “Section 31” is a standard issue DC superhero story; with no morals, and no messages. Nothing of real significance or value.  It’s just action and fisticuffs for their own sakes. Even with a running time of only 95 minutes, I was completely bored out of my mind. 

Note: The scene of Rachel Garrett (who really doesn’t belong with this group) being framed for the murder of Zeph might almost be interesting, if it weren’t so obvious. Worse yet, this bloodthirsty group is ready to execute her for a crime she clearly didn’t commit, barely waiting for Quasi’s tricorder readings from Zeph’s tech suit (which should’ve been presented before the accusations). Hell, this ‘Baby’s First Frame-Up’ wouldn’t have fooled Columbo for one minute. Maybe I’ve just watched and read too many mysteries…?

Note: The hovering speeder-flatbed chase of Quasi, Alok and Philippa after the defecting Fuzz and reanimated Zeph is right out of “Solo: A Star Wars Story” (2018); in fact, it would feel much more at home in a Star Wars movie or TV show than it does here.  This is Star Trek; you beam cargo from place to place; you don’t have to haul it on industrial hovering flatbeds.  Once again, the writers/director choose to do things because they “look cool,” not because they make any kind of logical sense within the well-defined parameters of the Star Trek universe.  

Note: We then our first good look at the older San (James Hiroyuki Liao), who was left mutilated and disgraced by Georgiou and seeks revenge and/or a superweapon; just like every villain in nearly every Star Trek movie in the 43 years since “The Wrath of Khan”; Kruge, Sybok, Chang, Soran, Nero, Khan, Krall, etc.  Even the modern Star Trek series have overused this ‘seeking revenge’ subplot to the extreme.  Before “The Wrath of Khan,” we rarely saw villains in Star Trek; we met adversaries—antagonists with genuine grievances and different perspectives, who weren’t simply seeking blind vengeance. Issues were often resolved in earlier Star Treks by negotiation; in modern Trek, grievances are usually resolved through bloodshed. This is one of my biggest pet peeves of the Alex Kurtzman-era of Star Trek; adversaries have become boring and binary, like comic book villains, not proper Star Trek antagonists. 

Note: The Section 31 team’s garbage scow catches up to San’s spaceship, where it cripples it with—I kid you not—a deadly exploding doll with defective batteries found among the trash.  This has to be one of the dumbest resolutions ever.  There’s no way a doll’s power source could cripple an advanced spaceship (how much damn power does a talking doll need, for chrissakes?).  At any rate, Georgiou and Alok beam aboard San’s ship, where Philippa and San fight in an endless exchange of martial arts moves (for what feels like forty minutes), until the activated Godsend-MacGuffin detonates—at T-minus zero, of course; giving our heroes aboard the commandeered garbage scow juuuust enough time to beam them back.  The movie’s ending felt like something out of 1999’s “Galaxy Quest,” but delivered with a straight face…

Note: The final scene sees the Section 31 team back at Georgiou’s club aboard the Baraam space station, congratulating each other for not destroying the universe. Even “Fuzz” appears to return, but with his angry, nano-parasite widow controlling a lookalike Vulcan body (*facepalm*). Once assembled, the team receives a hologram from Jamie Lee Curtis as their Section 31 “Control,” who also wears metal implants on her face, and who gives the team a new assignment—in full view of the other patrons in the club (nicely inconspicuous, guys… are there boxes of classified documents in the restrooms, too?),  Jamie Lee Curtis’ cameo as Control isn’t too surprising, since both she and Michelle Yeoh won Oscars for their work in the far superior “Everything Everywhere All at Once” (2022). Since no “Star Trek: Section 31” sequel or series appears to be on the horizon, and since Oscar-winner Yeoh might not wish to commit to a full series, we can relax.

The End.

Summing It Up

This weak, wannabe-“Guardians of the Galaxy” clone has nothing whatsoever to do with Star Trek. There is none of the franchise’s trademark optimism, no heroes worth rooting for, and no greater messaging beyond what we see onscreen. At a time when the world seems to be plunging headlong into a dark and deeply uncertain future (especially here in the United States), we could really use that old fashioned, aspirational Star Trek right about now. Needless to say, we don’t get it at all in “Star Trek: Section 31.”  Neither do the writers, it seems…

What writers Craig Sweeny, Erica Lippoldt and Bo Yeon Kim don’t seem to understand is that Section 31 is supposed to be a slick shadow organization. Even in Deep Space Nine’s late 24th century, S31 was little than a rumor that most Starfleet officers knew little-to-nothing about. Now they’re a loud-and-proud, wannabe “Suicide Squad.” The movie also misses the point of S31; they’re not heroes or people we want to emulate. They’re supposed to be the worst of us; the assassins, the saboteurs, the sinister, sneaky sort who’d silently push their favored leader’s most vocal critic from a high-rise window.  Section 31 is certainly no place for a young, ambitious Starfleet officer like Lt. Rachel Garrett (Kacey Rohl). My guess is that if she joined S31, she’d never see daylight again, let alone command a future starship Enterprise. 

“Section 31” is wholly populated with beings who are little more than video game avatars (much like parasite Fuzz controlling his overacting Vulcan form). None of these characters are people we feel any investment in, let alone care about. Even Philippa Georgiou (Michelle Yeoh), our lead character, is a mass murderer who mercilessly poisoned her entire family for a job; and she’s supposed to be the audience’s anchor in this story. Her supporting characters are just shallow DC/Marvel knockoffs who borrow Star Trek cred. There are no shadings to these people.  We get barely enough information to see them through a scene or two. I found none of these characters compelling enough for a sequel, let alone a series. Just getting to the end of this 95-minute movie was a real chore.  If it went to series, I’d give it a hard pass.

Aside from this film’s discount-“Suicide Squad” and lack of depth or meaning, this tone-deaf, Star Trek-in-name-only mess suffers from really bad timing. In a critical time when much of the western world seems poised to lapse into a real-life “Terran Empire,” the most Star Trek-thing to do right now would be this movie’s opposite; reintroduce that corny, quaint, old-fashioned Star Trek hopefulness, which was expressed with heroes who exemplified those nobler qualities we want to foster within ourselves, and not this ‘dark, edgy’ despot-coddling nonsense.

As well as being dull and derivative, “Star Trek: Section 31” is the wrong tonic for this moment.  I honestly wish Paramount+ had just shelved the whole damn thing. 

Where to Watch

“Star Trek: Section 31” is currently streaming exclusively on Paramount+.